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If you experience problems displaying some chapters it may be the browser you're using. I have not been able to pin down the problem yet, but apparently Internet Explorer and perhaps some other browsers show a blank-page in place of E1C3 and other later chapters. For now I suggest you try a different browser, hopefully the problem can be resolved soon.
Episode 1
Chapter
1
The Mist shimmered and shone like hungry moonlight
as it left the forest and crossed into late-afternoon sunlight. It crept up the
hillside like a living thing, long tendrils reaching ahead of the seething
mass, dragging it toward the town of Milton.
Tom Cain watched, lost in fascination. He’d seen
Mist before, but not like this one. Mist generally avoided sunlight and rarely
had the strength to pull itself uphill so fast.
His reverie was broken by the second bell. The code
was the same in every port-of-call he’d visited, single ring for Mist spotted,
second for approaching town. He turned and headed at a leisurely pace for the
nearest tower. The locals had mostly scattered to the protective havens, but
Tom had seen enough Mists in his travels to know he could outrun the danger if
he had to.
So long as they didn’t ring the third bell.
“Hey, boy! Headin’ for a tower already? What are yeh,
a sissy townie?” Airman Oleg appeared between a row of ramshackle wood and tin
buildings on the outskirts of Milton, followed by his friend Giles. Tom noted
they were both walking just as fast as him toward the tower.
Tom grinned back, Oleg was always ribbing the
junior crew. “Just takin’ a stroll, Airman. Curiously we seem to be headed in
the same direction.”
Oleg and Giles matched Tom’s stride. They were
easily the two biggest crewmen on the merchant airship Myrmidon. Tom matched
them in height, but he appeared reedlike next to their broad frames. Oleg was
big and hard while Giles ran to fat around the middle.
“See that Giles? He shows proper respect. How come
you never address me as ‘sir’ or ‘Airman’.”
Giles snorted. “Cuz yer a pompous ass, and you
still owe me twenty guilder.”
“Right, right. I does owe you, doesn’t I?” Oleg
laughed. “Well, you keep remindin’ me, I’ll keep on ignorin’ you, and the world
goes round, right laddie-buck?” He gave Tom a sharp jab in the shoulder.
Tom grunted noncommittally, and the three merchant
marines continued to play brave, each pretending to walk more slowly than the
others.
The distant sound of maniacal laughter stopped them
cold. They listened intently to the wind for a minute.
“T’weren’t nothin’,” said Giles, but his voice
crept up an octave, betraying his nerves.
Oleg nodded. “Yeah, they’d ring a third bell if it
was Draggers.”
>ding< >ding< >ding< On cue, the
third bell sounded.
“Shouldn’ta spoke Oleg… you knows it’s bad luck,”
muttered Giles.
The three hastened their pace, each trying to get
ahead of the others while appearing nonchalant.
They rounded the corner to the tower Tom had
spotted and he saw the legs were ringed with red and white stripes. “Kids
tower.”
Oleg grunted and hastened his pace. “If you be
suggesting we find someplace else you’re on your own!”
Tom shrugged. “I’m allowed up there, still eighteen
for a few more weeks.”
“I’ve heard tell of lads your age bein’ infected by
Mist.”
Tom ran the last few steps to the ropeladder.
“Yeah,” he said, as he swung on and climbed like a monkey, “rarely, but the
law’s the law.”
Oleg and Giles paused for a moment, obviously
contemplating their punishment if caught. Another staccato howl of laughter cut
through the air like a bullet. Oleg was up the first five rungs in a bound, and
Giles wasn’t far behind.
Fifty feet up, Tom hauled himself through the hatch
and rolled on to the floor of the tower, a crude, roofless room about ten feet
on a side, with walls up to his ribcage. Three teenage girls were already up
there. Two of them huddled together in a corner, and the third held a revolver
and had a look on her face like she wished he was a Dragger, just so she could
kill something.
Oleg and Giles weren’t far behind. “Draggers, onna
ladder!” panted Giles.
Tom glanced through the hatch and saw a half-dozen
of them climbing. In spite of dirty faces, matted hair, and torn clothing, they
still looked human. Human enough to
pass at any rate, if they could talk, or for that matter interact with other
people in any way that didn’t involve homicidal rage.
Tom whipped his rigging knife out and sliced
through the first rope. The Draggers below scrambled upwards, laughing as they
came, their faces locked in delirious grins. In an instant the second rope was
cut as well and the ladder fell away. The Draggers landed in a heap. Two of
them lay where they had fallen while the others crawled or hobbled away, broken
limbs simply ignored as they left in search of easier prey.
“Quick thinkin’ lad.” Oleg nodded at Tom.
Tom shrugged and put his knife away.
Giles
leered over Tom’s shoulder. “Look Oleg, buncha girls up here.”
Oleg turned to the three young women. He advanced
on them menacingly. “You lot are going to tattle on us, ain’t you? Rat us out
for bein’ in a kids tower?”
The two in the corner shook their heads, but the
one with the revolver backed off a step toward the others and raised her weapon
on Oleg. “Leave me be and I’ll let you alone too.”
Oleg advanced on her. “Yeah? Then what’s a little
‘un like yerself doin’ with a gun pointed at my chest? You gonna use it or
not?”
Tom grabbed Oleg by the arm. “Hey, they’re just
girls. Leave ‘em be.”
Giles’s arm snaked around Tom’s neck and he felt
himself lifted into the air, his breathing cut off. In spite of his struggles,
the grip grew steadily tighter. Tom closed his eyes for a moment and it was as
if the intervening two years had never passed. He could smell the reek of his
father’s breath.
Oleg glanced over his shoulder and grunted, then
turned back to his quarry. “Now little miss. We ain’t gonna hurt you. Just hand
over the gun, nice and slow.”
She looked to Tom with concern, and in that moment,
Oleg swiped a paw upwards, neatly snatching the revolver away. He slammed his
other hand into her chest, sending the girl into the corner with the others,
where she landed hard.
Tom felt the arm release him and fell to his knees,
gasping for air.
“Now,” said Oleg, “I hold alla cards. Let’s have
some polite conversation like we is civilized beings.” He thrust the revolver
through his belt. “I am Master Airman Oleg. My companions here are Airman Giles
Whitworth, and Junior Airman Thomas Cain.”
The older of the two girls in the corner sighed and
said, “Nikki Keats and my sister, Willow, we’re from town.” She indicated the Revolver
girl. “I have no idea who she is.”
Willow, who was sitting in her sister’s lap,
hugging a rather ratty-looking, quilted bear, let out a whimper and tightened
her grip around Nikki’s waist. Willow looked thirteen or fourteen, and her
sister a few years older. Both were rather pretty, with long, wavy brown hair
framing their pale faces. Neither of them appeared prepared for a long stay in
a tower. They had only light dresses on and were already shivering as the sun
began to set. Tom thought about offering his fleece-lined leather jacket, but
it didn’t seem like the right time.
Revolver girl got to her feet and glared at the
three Airmen. She was short and thin, with the angular, dark features of a Cree
or Sioux, wore beaded, deer-hide pants and jacket like many Indian men, and a
gun-belt with loops full of spare ammunition, wrapped twice around to fit her
slim waist. Her long hair was braided at the back. She looked to be fifteen or
sixteen.
Oleg and Revolver girl faced off, while below them
the insane laughter of the Draggers continued. In the distance they heard
screams from those too slow to make the towers in time. Oleg was first to make
a move, he grabbed Revolver Girl by the gunbelt and pulled her to him. She
slapped him hard across the face, but Oleg held tight, pawing at her clothes.
“What the hell!” Tom leapt forward, only to be
grabbed by Giles in another choke-hold.
Oleg uncinched the belt and whipped it from around
the girl’s waist, then pushed her back into the corner. He turned and grinned
at Tom. “Just wanted her spare ammo laddie. Nothin’ improper goin’ on…” he
turned and leered at the girls, “yet.”
Giles released Tom again. Tom fell to the floor and
rubbed his neck.
Oleg towered over him. “But you try any more
interferin’ an’ I’ll skin you alive boyo.” He reached to Tom’s side and slipped
his knife out of its sheath. “I’ll be keepin’ this too, so you don’t go getting
funny ideas.” Then he picked Tom up by the front of the jacket and hurled him
into the corner with the girls.
“Listen here,” Oleg towered over the teens in the
corner, “I’m in charge until the Mist has cleared. Me and Giles’ll protect you
lot from Draggers an’ in return, you give us a half-day to clear off once this
is all over, got it?”
Tom stood. “I’ll miss my berth if you leave without
me!”
Giles grinned from behind Oleg, “Shoulda thougtha
that before you went runnin’ yer fat mouth off.”
Tom turned to the girls. “Does my mouth look fat to
you? I always thought I had a rather shapely mouth. But Giles should know from
fat, I mean just look at the guy!”
Giles bristled. “Yeah, wanna go tough-guy? This
time I won’t let up, see how funny you is without air!”
Oleg put a restraining hand on Giles’s chest.
“Enough! Cool off mate. We’re just here a few hours ‘till the Mist is gone.
Then we hightail for the Myrmidon, tell the Cap’n the authorities are gonna
board and check for illegal goods. He’ll pull up stakes and be gone inside a
few minutes and any complaints about us usin’ a kids tower will be forgotten in
no time. Murder is another matter. Kill him if you want, but not where I’m like
to be implicated, got it?”
Oleg and Giles retreated to the opposite corner
from the others. Giles crossed his arms sullenly while Oleg lay the revolver
across his lap and played his finger across the finish. All around they heard
the sound of Draggers laughing as they ransacked the town in search of live
humans. Meanwhile the hungry Mist wrapped its ethereal tentacles around the
legs of the tower and began to creep upward.
15 comments:
Great writing, very much looking forward to more.
Since you asked about mistakes - I didn't see any in the Chapter, but your blurb has a double 'the' - 'the the adventures of Tom Cain'
I'll be spreading the word on my website, hope your story takes off.
Thank you, I'm glad to hear you're enjoying it.
Typical I should leave a double 'the' in there though. Thanks for that, I probably would have gone years without noticing. :)
This was fantastic. I absolutely love the ideas behind it, and the use of accented dialogue was superb. A lot of people can't pull that off but you did it well. Awesome how you combine aspects of steampunk, fantasy, and zombies.
I found the blog through your signature on the AbsoluteWrite forums (and am commenting under the name I use there). I don't have a blog, but I'll make sure to share the link with my family and friends.
Will definitely be checking back every Monday for new installments, and commenting so you know I'm reading.
Thanks, I really appreciate the kind words and that you're spreading the word.
I've always had an ear for language, in spite of my terrible grammar and vocabulary I can often fool native German and French speakers into thinking I'm a native speaker too if the conversation is short and simple enough.
Nice cliffhanger. I started off thinking, "Okay, I'll just read the first chapter before bed, and looks like I'm going to be up later reading the next one.
I did notice a couple commas missing here and there, usually when a character was using someone's name at the end of a line. For example: "Just takin’ a stroll Airman." (At least, I'm pretty sure there should be a comma in there.)
I like that you keep referring to Nikki as "Revolver girl" after we've heard her name. Five new characters at once is a lot to keep track of without references like that.
Sorry for the double post, just started reading Chapter 2 and realized I got Nikki and Agatha mixed up. ^_^;; I re-read the part where I got confused, and I think I see why. Here's the paragraph:
Revolver girl glowered, while the older of the two girls in the corner sighed and said, “Nikki Keats and my sister, Willow, we’re from town.” She indicated the third girl. “I have no idea who she is.”
Basically, I read it like "Revolver girl" was the one who both glowered and spoke. (I guess as if there was a comma there that wasn't.) Then I think the fact that you called her "the third girl" instead of "Revolver girl" again helped solidify that line of thought.
Anyway, misunderstanding cleared up. I'm back to reading. :)
Thanks for the comments Katrina. I'll have to go back and do some fixes. Glad you're enjoying the story!
I really enjoyed this chapter. It was hard to get used to the accents, but once I did, I really began to enjoy it. Nice cliffhanger too.
Thanks Christopher, I do tone down the accented dialogue in upcoming episodes. Another reader mentioned this to me previously. I hope you enjoy the rest as well! :)
I've only read the first chapter, but I really adored it. What got me was the aspect of multiple conflicts as well as the pace. Also, the steampunk genre fascinates the heck out of me, and I look forward to how the series plays out. Kudos!
Thanks Coty, there's lots more to come. I'm really glad to hear you're enjoying the serial.
Nice work. I really enjoyed reading this.
You should have a link to Webfictionguide somewhere so you can get some ratings from your readers.
Also, this is really interesting so far.
It's been a long time since you've updated - are you planning to come back to it?
I saw that this never got a review on Web Fiction Guide, and I was looking to fix that!
Hi Writeorelse, thanks for stopping by!
I may get back to it, but right now I'm focused on trying to transition writing from a hobby to a paying job and as much as I love the Orphans, free fiction doesn't pay any bills. If there were a significant interest I'd certainly start writing again, I have the whole series plotted out, so I know where things go from here.
What I'd really love is to sell this as a series of graphic novels, but it's a hard sell.
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