"Reading" Lamp I Made

I decided to get crafty this Christmas and made a few lamps. This one turned out exceptionally well, I think. It took a bit of figuring out, but once I had the plan, the actual execution was fairly simple. The system is 12v LED (it plugs in to his ass) and the valve you see is the on/off switch. I wanted to make it a dimmer, but it turns out there aren't any readily available potentiometers that fit.

The pipe is mostly from Home Depot, they have big bins of the stuff you can sort through undisturbed. I won't list all the pieces here, as I'm sure you can figure it out if you want to make one. The only specialty bits of pipe were the head and the cross-piece for the shoulders and they were both easily available from a local specialty plumbing shop (you can get them on Amazon, but with shipping it would have been twice the price).

The electronics is really simple. I used an old 12v power supply I had left over from an external hard drive, bought the socket for it to attach, the bulb socket (G4 type), and a 12v LED bulb at a local electronics shop. I had to order the rotary switch to fit inside the valve online, but it was only $6, even with shipping.

The book is two pieces of copper pipe I had left over from the other lamp I made for Christmas hammered flat and soldered together.

The only complex bit of the whole process was drilling out the valve so the wires would fit through, filing off the threads so the valve doesn't go in and out (it would crush the switch) and fixing the valve to the switch with epoxy. Also, it's a good idea to soak your pipes in TSP or other degreaser because they're pretty greasy from the store.

If you want any more info on how to make one, feel free to ask in the comments!

Son of a Pitch: The Proxy Initiative (take 2)

The Proxy Initiative

Adult Science-Fiction Thriller
80,000 Words

Query

The Proxy Initiative is a government cybersecurity contractor founded to infiltrate people's minds through their wetware – computers implanted directly in the skull – and Ethan Pryce is their lead programmer. When he finds out the people he's working for are more interested in their own power than using the tools he developed to fight terrorism, Ethan goes rogue. He downloads a head full of damning data that could destroy The Proxy Initiative and he taps into their system, so the next time they hack someone he'll take over instead.

When unforeseen glitch overloads his wetware, he loses control and his life becomes irrevocably twined with the lives of strangers.

Now, every night Ethan is forced into the bodies of strangers. He experiences the world through their eyes, feels their pain, and controls their bodies while a trio of psychopaths working for The Proxy Initiative hunt these bodies down. To locate the real Ethan, they'll murder and torture him as many times as they have to because he's the only one with the power to stop them.

Due to the glitch in his wetware, the data that he sacrificed so much to get is inaccessible without specialized hardware. Hardware owned and guarded by the very people hunting him down. With only the help of a rebellious young woman he'll have to find a way to destroy the Proxy Initiative before they destroy him and use their technology to overthrow the government.

First 250 Words

Drive full.

The message flashes in my brain. I grab the cable jacked into the base of my skull with sweat slicked fingers and scan the list of documents.

Shit. The Proxy software isn’t downloaded. I rearrange the files and send mental instructions to override the wetware-brain barrier. It will overwrite some personal memories, but I need that software.

My past is best forgotten anyhow.

“It's time, Ethan.” Meridian takes her eyes off the view of Central Park, and rises from my couch, dark face crinkling with anticipation. “Got everything?”

“Not quite. Proxy ‘ware’s incomplete.”

“You didn’t download it first?” Meridian scowls at me. "I thought you were supposed to be smart."

“Just a few seconds.” I flick a nervous smile at her. "You can give me that much more of this life."

Meridian takes in my penthouse apartment. "You got it good here, but you'll adapt." Her face twitches. She's a surprisingly bad liar for a double agent betraying one of the most secretive and powerful companies in America.

"I'm tougher than I look." I puff out what little there is of my chest. "What's it like… being poor?"

"For starters, don't say shit like that or you'll get a punch in the—"

Loud popping noises from the hall outside my penthouse apartment cut her off mid-sentence.

“Time to go.” Meridian draws a pistol from inside her jacket and chambers a round.

"You're going to kill them?"

"What the fuck you think, Ethan?"

Son of a Pitch: The Proxy Initiative

The Proxy Initiative
Adult Science-Fiction Thriller
80,000 Words

Query

The Proxy Initiative is a government cybersecurity contractor founded to infiltrate people's minds through their wetware – computers implanted directly in the skull and Ethan Pryce is their lead programmer. But when he finds out the people he's working for are more interested in their own power than using the tools he developed, Ethan goes rogue. He downloads a head full of damning data that could destroy The Proxy Initiative and he taps into the Proxy system, so the next time they hack someone he'll take over instead.

Unfortunately he overloads his wetware and loses control.

Now, every night Ethan is forced into the bodies of strangers. He experiences the world through their eyes, feels their pain, and controls their bodies while a trio of psychopaths hunt these proxy bodies down. To locate the real Ethan, they'll murder and torture him as many times as they have to because he's the only one with the power to stop them.

Due to the glitch in his wetware, the data that he worked so hard to get is inaccessible without specialized hardware. Hardware owned and guarded by the very people hunting him down. With only the help of a rebellious young woman he'll have to find a way to destroy the Proxy Initiative before they destroy him and use their technology to overthrow the government.

First 250 Words

Drive full.

The message flashes in my brain. I grab the cable jacked into the base of my skull and scan the list of documents.

Shit. The Proxy software isn’t downloaded. I rearrange the files and send mental instructions to override the wetware-brain barrier. It will overwrite some personal memories, but I need that software.

My past is best forgotten anyhow.

“It's time, Ethan.” Meridian takes her eyes off the view of Central Park, and rises from my couch, dark face crinkling with anticipation. “Got everything?”

“Not quite. Proxy ‘ware’s incomplete.”

“You didn’t download it first?” Meridian draws a pistol from inside her jacket and chambers a round.

“Naw, parallel’s much faster. I just—”

Loud popping noises from the hall outside my penthouse apartment cut me off mid-sentence.

“Time to go.” She grabs my wrist.

“Don’t.” I recoil from her touch. “Almost there.” I hold the plug with quivering fingers, ready to yank it out the moment the download’s done. “I hijacked the Proxy system while I was in there.”

“Good for you.” Her body tenses. “Get ready.”

More popping noises from the hallway. Someone shouts instructions.

“You don’t get it…. Next time they hack somebody I’m going hitch a ride on their signal.” The download timer reads forty seconds.

My apartment door flies open and three men from my security detail burst through. “Ma’am, we’ve got a situation,” The leader addresses Meridian.

“Cover the door.” Meridian points her pistol at my head. “If they get past you, I’ll kill him myself.”